Dr. Robert M. Gordon

Rewarding Love’s scientific adviser and psychologist:
Robert M. Gordon, Ph.D. ABPP is a Diplomate of Clinical Psychology and a Diplomate of
Psychoanalysis in Psychology. He is a Fellow of the Academy of Clinical Psychology, and
a Fellow of the Academy of Psychoanalysis of the American Board of Professional Psychology.
He served on the governing council of the American Psychological Association. He was
president of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association and received its Distinguished
Service Award. Dr. Gordon served as an approved supervisor by the American Association
for Marriage and Family Therapy for 26 years. He is a Fellow of the American Psychological
Association’s Division of Psychoanalysis and member of sections: Psychologist-
Psychoanalyst Practitioners, Psychoanalytic Research Society, Psychoanalysis
and Groups, Couple and Family Therapy and Psychoanalysis. He authored
many scholarly articles and books in the areas of love relations,
ethics, psychotherapy and the assessment of personality.
The Unified Model of Factors Contributing to Love Relations

Dr. Robert M. Gordon's decades of research have culminated in the development of his Unified Model of Factors Contributing to Love Relations. By integrating the findings of evolutionary psychology, psychoanalysis, neuroscience, cognitive psychology, and social psychology, the Unified Model helps us to better understand how and why we love.

RewardingLove’s Unified Model of Love© Questionnaire, created by Dr. Robert M. Gordon, is based upon his Unified Model of Factors Contributing to Love Relations. RewardingLove.com is the only place to meet compatible singles seeking serious relationships/marriage based upon this most comprehensive model of love today.

The 5 Levels Unhealthy Love Healthy Love
Current Context Attraction is based on current fears and insecurities Attraction is based on appreciation of the good qualities of the other
Beliefs Superstitious, irrational, unfair beliefs and concrete, selfish values Strong sense of fairness and altruistic values
Relational
Internalizations
Attachment traumas, toxic internalizations of parenting figures cause fears, distortions and provocations in intimacies Secure attachment in infancy and a good enough childhood allows for a healthy capacity for sustained love
Individual Traits Too much aggression, irrationality, egocentricity, unreliability and defensiveness A healthy personality has the ability for sustained passion, concern and commitment
Species Traits Attraction is primarily based on primitive triggers Attraction is not primarily based on primitive triggers

The unified model utilizes a heuristic pyramid to consider the following factors:

1. Who we are as humans
2. Who we are as individuals with innate temperaments
3. Our early attachment experiences
4. The effects of culture, learning, and beliefs
5. Current psychological context

Each level of the pyramid is a source of our motives and perceptions affecting how and why we love.
Listen to Dr. Gordon's unique approach to relationships, intimacy and Rewarding Love:

»  Unified Model of Love Relations
»  Why Our Assessment is More Targeted
»  How Defensive Styles Affect Love Relationships
»  What is Love?
»  Personal Growth

Psychology Books by Dr. Robert M. Gordon

An Expert Look at Love, Intimacy and Personal Growth Second Edition 2008

After thirty years of theoretical formulations, I pull them all together in my comprehensive model of love relations by integrating evolutionary psychology, psychoanalysis, cognitive and social psychology. This theoretical model lets us see why relationships can be so irrational.

» Why do so many people have problems with love and intimacy?
» Why do some parents scapegoat their children?
» What is Parental Alienation Syndrome?
» What is the MMPI?
» Can we predict dangerousness?
» Why do we have ground rules in therapeutic relationships?
» Why must we grieve loss?
» Are the years in psychoanalytic psychotherapy worth it?
» How does one achieve personal growth?
» How do psychologists detect lying and defenses?
» Which theory of psychotherapy is best?
» Is self-esteem important or is it a pop-psych myth?
» Is it the divorce that hurts children or what came before the divorce?
» What is a psychotherapy session like?

Introduction
Chapter 1 Love and Happiness 3
Chapter 2 Treating Love Disturbances 8
Chapter 3 Measuring Individual Traits 21
Chapter 4 Treating Others Well 24
Chapter 5 Medea and Parental Alienation 34
Chapter 6 Grieving Lost Love 54
Chapter 7 Personal Growth 57
Chapter 8 Lies and Defenses 74
Chapter 9 Integrating Theories 81
Chapter 10 Self-esteem 96
Chapter 11 Children of Divorce 99
Chapter 12 Towards Healthier Intimacies 102
Conclusion 113
Index 115
References 118
C.E. 125
I Love You Madly! On Passion, Personality and Personal Growth

by Robert M. Gordon, Ph.D. ABPP.

What does it take to have a lasting love relationship? Dr. Robert Gordon shows that the course of love is fairly predictable based on the personalities and histories of the lovers. Only insight and mutual concern can help change this path. He explains the psychology of romantic love from both personal and professional perspectives. Along the way, he integrates evolutionary psychology, psychoanalysis and social psychology in the context of dramatic stories of love and psychotherapy. Learn how to recognize healthy love relations from relationship killers such as narcissism, defensiveness and hostility. I Love You Madly! informs about the science of psychology, yet reads as an entertaining novel.





I Love You Madly! Workbook

by Robert M. Gordon, Ph.D. ABPP.

This workbook can teach you to have insights for more satisfying love relations. How is this workbook different from others? It is based on time-tested treatment. It is based on the latest theoretical and scientific findings. It goes into areas of unconscious personality dynamics that are often the reasons behind problems with intimacy. You will learn about healthy and disturbed love relations. You will learn what you can do about them.












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